I don’t need a phone call or a song to remind me that I’m no longer a young man. My knees tell me every day! But two things happened in the past few days that once again drove that point home.
The first was a long-overdue phone call with a dear friend. I hadn’t talked to him in months. We were on the phone for almost two hours catching up. It reminded me that I need to do a better job of staying in touch with people. A lesson I preach in my books, but don’t seem to live up to in real life.
During this phone call, we talked about retirement. Planning, financing, timing. I’m semi-retired. It’s sobering, though, when you hear of friends retiring. Don’t we all have years in front of us?
The second thing happened today while I was in the car with my daughter. “Forever Young” by Alphaville came on my mix. It’s on my playlist because of the cheesy 80’s factor. And to annoy my wife!
But there are some lines in that song that really hit home. Lines about songs that you didn’t play. And adventures that couldn’t happen. And youth compared to diamonds.
The song’s chorus asks if you want to live forever. My answer is no. Let my kids do a better job with their lives than I did with mine.
But it is songs like this that make me nostalgic. What are the songs I forgot to play? What dreams came out of the blue? Did I get old with no cause?
Another song on my my playlist is “Bennett Built a Time Machine” by Spock’s Beard. (Welcome to my schizophrenic music mix!) In it, Bennett uses his time machine to change his current fortunes. What would I use it for?
I think my answer to that question is found in the song “Master of Time” by Big Big Train. Yes, that’s on my playlist too! Originally written by one of the founders of Genesis, Anthony Phillips, the song begs the master to let him try once again. I guess that would be my desire: some second chances. The opportunity to tell people how much they meant to me before they were taken from me. To rethink some of my bad choices. To take some risks. To finish projects, to relish my mom’s potato pancakes, to ask my dad about some of the big band music he loved.
To make the phone calls to the people who are still with us. To finally visit places that you have always wanted to see.
To live today with a purpose. I wrote a poem last year called “A Sort of Prayer”. It starts with the lines “I’ve but one life to live and if that’s true/ I’ve wasted so much time and I’ve so much to do.” Nice thoughts. Hard to do.
This past Saturday, I spent Halloween giving out candy with our much younger next-door neighbors. Still in their 20s and married two years, I think about where I was at their age. And where I could be today if the Master of Time took me back, or if I built my own Time Machine.
As enticing as the song makes it sound, I don’t really want to be forever young. Because, at the end of the day, I like where I ended up!